Distracted Fl ... Just Distracted...

As users of the common roadways we, as cyclists, are often devastatingly reminded of the dangers of distracted driving. It is, of course, a very real problem with serious, long-term or even permanent, consequences, and has rightfully become increasingly subject to social and legislative scrutiny. But, how many of us give even fleeting thought to another frequently occurring problem we face on a daily, usually even multiple times per day, basis. The problem I am referring to has not, as far as I am aware, been given a name; so for lack of adequate imagination, I will borrow from the far more serious problem, and simply call it 'distracted flying'.


Look, at somewhere between 5'-10 and 6'-0" tall, and 155 lbs I am downright wiry, or lanky, or slim (just don't call me skinny), especially by today's standards (did you read recently how not a single state has an obesity rate lower than 20% anymore). Even so, compared to the little critters flitting through the air, from shrub to shrub, even I must present a massive impediment. So, how is it I continually find myself being bombarded by flying bugs? The answer has got to be distracted flying.


Bees, yellow jackets, wasps, who knows how many varieties of flying beetles, dragonflies, probably even common ol' house and horse flies - I have been run into by them all. Take today, for instance; I rode almost fifty miles on a roughly twelve mile circuit, and was hit enough times to, probably, equal a rate of one collision every five miles. I was hit everywhere - head and face, torso, arms and legs, and even hands. This does not even include the times my bike was hit, without any ricochet  action into my body. It happened so often, that I started flinching every time I caught some dark speck headed in my general direction. Thankfully we are drawing nearer to the end of the busy flying season, something that started off in the spring, ramps up and reaches its peak during the summer, but is pretty negligible during the winter moths months.


Normally, these collisions are simple annoyances, and in the worst case scenario result in a painful sting. I have previously related the story of my two black and blue eyes, courtesy of a wayward wasp. There was also the time a distracted yellow jacket turned down into my jersey, and took his mistake out on me, four times, before I was finally able to smash him into submission. In the best of cases, they provide a little extra protein on the fly. As the old cycling joke goes (or some variation of it) - "running a little low on energy? Just open your mouth". Surely something could be done to prevent, at least some, of these needless collisions. Maybe a little sonic device built into a helmet - just enough power to warn away any inattentive little critters, yet weak enough so as not to scramble our own brains. I realize that at this point you may be beginning to think this may have already happened to mine, but bear with me. Really, I don't know what the answer is. Seeing as how bio-diversity is good for a healthy ecosystem, I don't want these little winged's to go away, I just wish they would pay closer attention to what they are doing, where they are going.


Why do I feel like I need to add a note of seriousness now? While I can joke about the hazards of distracted flying bugs, the dangers of distracted drivers is not a joking matter. If this were a commercial, this is the point when the volume level would increase tenfold, a disembodied voice would loudly say - Pay Attention - okay, back to normal volume levels. Remember, a distracted flyer does no harm to ought but itself; a distracted driver causes terrible damage to many.